I hate vinyl. At least it is clean. The top floor is nordic but plastic.

Respite has been extended. I have discovered a wonderful charity called relatives and residents association who actually help. Practical advice. Legalities explained, and, they reply to emails the same day. I actually feel quite optimistic, a glass of wine is in order.

As I expected we have not had a result for funding help but the guy who looks after dad and us has been able to extend his respite. I will go over and see dad tomorrow, hopefully I will get a better reception. I must ask the consultant if we might cancel the Aricept. It might make a difference to his sleepiness and I don't suppose it is doing him much good now.

New flooring is coming tomorrow. More vinyl!! It will prevent the constant carpet cleaning and make things easier for me and the carers. Had a better night last night due to sleeping tablets.

Today I will move all the furniture and stuff into dad's room while he is away. Still haven't got the plastic sheet to put under his bed to prevent the rising tide of piddle! The social services have not contact us yet so I anticipate we will be refused funding, again. M. says I am pessimistic but I can't help it. Weather still awful and there were no copies of the Telegraph left in the shop had to take the Mail.

Dad will come home on Monday and despite all I will be pleased to see him. It's not his fault he has this dreadful disease and he at least is quite happy.

I seem to be getting more tired during this respite. We have had a request from the social services to see my mothers will. Weather is awful and I barely slept a wink last night. I sat downstairs reading at 2.00 am. I have been listening to CD tapes of C J Sansom's Dissolution, very calming but I wish I could go to sleep. I have so much to do and no capacity to do it.

We went to see dad and woke him up. I don't think he knew who we were and then got grumpy!

Left his medication with the nurse. Tried to have a conversation but he wasn't having it. E asked him to show us his room. "Do I have to" He looked quite well.

Drove home.

I do quite miss dad. The house is clean but it feels empty without him. I have his medication bubble pack for next week so I will take it over to the respite place and see how he is getting on.

Rainswept and Depressed

I have stripped the house of everything to be cleaned whilst dad is away and come across little hidden items. Socks in the nick-nack draw, biscuits hidden in a cup, jumper under the pillow but still not teeth.

We have not received funding for the second week running, it is pouring with rain, my aches and pains have all come back and I wish I wasn't here, and to top it all the dog has been sick on the settee.

I am worried that the matron who has agreed to take dad on will not wait for us and the room will be lost. I am so tired.