To Spend or not to Spend

Thursday has come and gone and no news re funding. I find it very difficult to think of anything else and seem to be permanently waiting. Friday a.m. I ring our man in the mental health unit.

No funding again. We talk about options and I have to decide not to spend dad's money on paying to go into care. My problem is that if he is paying until his money runs out they might think we had deliberately run down his finances. If we pay then the powers that be might think he is less of a priority. I decide not to spend the excess cash. I know my sister will agree. We talk about the respite home where dad is now, our man says he will ring them and see if he can extend it again.

I have very little hope as he has already tried before. This morning I put all the bedding back together and lit a Christmas incense stick ready for dad to come home.

The phone rang. Respite is extended until 8th Jan.

Tomorrow I will go over and see dad and take some cards to him. He gets lots of Christmas cards from the neighbourhood which is really great. I go through the address book and write cards from him to people who I have no idea whether they are still alive or not, I've never heard of half of them (this is a job my sister has done in the past). I don't know whether it is appropriate to send cards from someone who has alzheimers and who undoubtedly doesn't remember these 'friends' anymore. I will ask him tomorrow if he recognises the names of the people who have sent him cards.

This morning I telephoned the Agency and re-instated all the carers. This afternoon I telephoned and cancelled them again. This must have caused them a lot of work.

It has been a strange day. I can't find the Christmas tree. I have been up in the loft and produced two boxes of baubles but no tree. I have masses of lovely decorations but they are all in storage and I can't get to them. I find this strangely upsetting.