Lastnight I came downstairs to remind dad to go to bed. He asked whether mum was coming up too then he turned to his left (odd) and started patting the arm rest, when it didn't respond he began to thump it, really hard. If she had been there she could have sued him for battery. I said to him that she was already upstairs. "No, she's not, she's here."

I left him to it. He came up later with some items that he didn't know what to do with. A used nappy pad (only piddle fortunately) and his electric shave with half the bits missing.

"where am I sleeping tonight?"