Sunday, 18th October 2009

Still no teeth. A soiled nappy has gone missing and the wash loads are up in the 4’s again as well as a trip to the cleaners.
The carer arrives and we do the linen and floors together before she gets dad in the shower; he doesn’t argue this morning because he knows he needs a good wash. It is almost lunchtime so he can have his lunch rather than breakfast.
I have been looking at some paperwork and found several interesting items.
The first, a certificate of purchase of a burial plot. This is made out to dad’s mum and cost her £1. It is quite ornate and signed by the town’s mayor and chief clerk. I wonder how many people a plot can hold? My mum’s ashes are in the Garden of Remembrance next to people she worked with when she was young. My younger sister, who died of pneumonia when she was about four, is also in the same cemetery but in an unmarked grave. Mum and dad couldn’t afford a stone. We did mull over the ideal of putting mum and Veronica together but it all got too complicated. I wonder if we can put dad in with his mum and dad when he goes. I will have to investigate this now at the Town Hall as it all gets too fraught when you are trying to manage a death.
I am not being morbid just practical. The Victorians had a pragmatic approach to death and I don’t see anything wrong with that.
In France, where I have spent some time, the cemeteries are very ornate with little houses and lots of stone and marble. Unfortunately, the French have a love affair with plastic flowers, so there are a lot of them too. The last day of October is the day of the dead and huge pots of chrysanthemums are placed on the graves, with lots of families taking the opportunity to visit and tidy their plot. I think it is a national holiday too (they have so many it is difficult to keep track).
The displays of chrysanthemums can be seen on roundabouts and in the towns; consequently their association with death means they are not used as indoor plants, which is a shame as they are so pretty.
The other documents I have found relate to a book dad bound for the Queen.
More on that later.